GENREALITY

Writers aren’t the only creative people who experience these feelings of being a fraud or concerned the world will found out they are an imposter.

“I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented.  I’m not very good.  It’s all been a big sham.”  Michelle Pfeiffer

“Sometimes I wake up before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud.  They’re going to fire me.  I’m fat.  I’m ugly . . .”  Kate Winslet.

First, it’s important to realize everyone has doubts.  What’s debilitating is if you feel like you are the only one.  You’re not.  Studies of people who  are identified as feeling like frauds range in percentage, but the overall number is high.  In fact, studies show that many of the most successful people feel it the most.  The higher up the ladder one goes, the greater the fear is of ‘being found out’.

Doubts can be good:  they can inspire you to become better.  If you combine your doubt with your passion, it can motivate you to great success.  Studies have shown that women who score high in the area of feeling like a fraud tend to compete harder to compensate for their doubts.  Interestingly, men who scored high on feeling like a fraud, tend to avoid areas where they feel vulnerable to avoid looking bad.

There is a thing called The Imposter Syndrome.  Many people have great difficulty internalizing their accomplishments.  All those things they’ve achieved:  degrees, promotions, publication, best-seller lists, etc. are thrown out.  Instead, people look to external things like luck and contacts that had little to do with their own efforts as the reason for the successes they have achieved.  Inside themselves, many people feel like they are ‘fooling’ everyone.  What’s particularly hard about that is the more success a person achieves, the greater the fear of being found a fraud becomes.

Some ways to gauge how much of The Imposter Syndrome you have:  The more you agree with the following statements, the higher your IS:

1. I can give the impression I am more competent than I really am.
2. I often compare myself to those around me and consider them more intelligent than I am.
3. I get discouraged if I’m not the ‘best’ in an endeavor.
4. I hate being evaluated by others.
5. If someone gives me praise for something I’ve accomplished, it makes me fear that I won’t live up to his or her expectations in the future.
6. I’ve achieved my current position via luck and/or being in the right place at the right time.
7. When I think back to the past, incidents where I made mistakes or failed come more readily to mind than times when I was successful.
8. When I finish a manuscript, I usually feel like I could have done so much better.
9. When someone complements me, I feel uncomfortable.
10. I’m afraid others will find out my lack of knowledge/expertise.
11. When I start a new manuscript, I’m afraid I won’t be able to finish it, even though I’ve already finished X number of manuscripts.
12. If I’ve been successful at something, I often doubt I can do it again successfully.
13. If my agent tells me I’m going to get an offer on a book, I don’t tell anyone until the contract is actually in hand.

Overall, people who feel like imposters are constantly judging their success against the achievements of others rather than viewing what they do as an end in itself.  For writers, this can be very dangerous, because there will always be someone who is doing ‘it better’ or ‘is more successful’.

A technique to fight feeling like a fraud is to use a version of my HALO concept on yourself.  HALO stands for High Altitude Low Opening parachuting.  Basically, the HALO approach starts from way outside yourself, diving in until you can see things clearly.  Step outside and view things as if you are a stranger to yourself.  Look at your resume.  Look at what you’ve accomplished in life.  Ask yourself what kind of person would have achieved these things?  Could a fraud have done this?  When I query a conference to teach or apply to lead workshops or do keynotes, I have to send my bio.  Sometimes I stop and read it and ask myself:  what would I think of this person, if I didn’t know them, but just read this?

Focus on positive feedback.  However, don’t ignore negative feedback. The key is not to let the negative  overwhelm you.  In the same vein, avoid ALL hateful feedback.  99 out of 100 emails I receive from readers are usually positive.  The bad one though used to really bother me.  Nowadays, when I open an email and I can tell it’s going to be nasty (aka:  I burned your book it sucked so much) I stop reading, hit delete and smile.  I figure they must have really been engaged by my writing to have such strong emotions.

I don’t look at Amazon reviews or rankings any more.  First, you have to realize that only a certain segment of the population posts reviews on Amazons.  It’s not a true sample of the population.  Also, the motives for posting reviews often have nothing to do with your book.

On the flip side of feeling like a fraud, some people tend to over-rate their abilities.  A self-serving delusion is almost necessary in this world to just get out of bed in the morning at times.  But take it too far and it can destroy you.

I have all my published books in my office on the top of two bookcases, all lined up.  The row is over three feet wide.  I look at it sometimes to fight the feeling that I can’t write another book, that I can’t get published again.

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’re unpublished, walk into the bookstores and don’t let all those published authors overwhelm you.  Use them to motivate you.  Tell yourself you belong there.  I always look and say:  “Hey, these people got published, why can’t I?”

List and post your accomplishments.  They can range from a picture of your family, degrees achieved, awards won, whatever.  Put them where you write.  Use them to remind yourself that you are not a fraud.  YOU ARE REAL.

Your thoughts?

(from Warrior Writer: From Writer To Published Author)

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Related posts:

1. A Writer’s Enemy: Feeling Like A Fraud
2. How Should Authors Deal With Reviews?
3. Deal with it.