Hey Gang,
This is a continuation of my blog over at http://witchychicks.blogspot.com/ this past Tuesday where I talked about some common mistakes I was seeing in manuscripts from new writers. This is in no way meant to be a complete list, but these are some of the more common ones I see. I encourage you to check out the other blog where I wrote about word echoes, giving your reader credit, sense of time and place and other mistakes.
1. The Fishhead: Susan Alison, the Editorial Director at Berkley/Ace, once told me that most stories didn’t begin until page 100. The rest was back story no one needed to know. I scoffed back then, but I’ve discovered she’s right. Most manuscripts have some kind of fishhead (I learned this from my friend Britta Coleman) that needs to be lopped off. The reader doesn’t need all that back story, and 99 percent of the time if it is germane to the story it is something you can weave in later. In my Revision Hell class I talk about the Iceberg (Something else I learned from Britta). You can see the tip of the iceberg and you know there is something underneath. Your readers only need to see the tip of the iceberg.
2. Pacing: This is directly related to back story. So many writers feel like, especially in the beginning, that they need to do some kind of set up and they end up spending pages and pages on it slowing down their story from the start. But pacing isn’t just about cutting out the back story. It’s about making sure to tighten and to cut out those repeating thoughts and phrases I mentioned on the other blog. Chances are if you are slogging through your revisions, the reader/agent/editor will be slogging too. (Though not for long with those agents and editors.) I write tight, fast moving stories, but there are other books that warrant a slower pace. Find what works best for the story you are telling.
3. Tension: One of the things that keeps your story moving along is tension. You should have tension on every page. That doesn’t mean a fight scene or murder. It’s keeping your character from his or her ultimate goal. You chase them up that tree and throw rocks at them, until it’s time for them to come down. Tension is what keeps your reader turning the pages.
4. Show Don’t Tell: I can’t stress this one enough. When you say: “Sara was angry.” You are telling us she is angry. When you say: “Fists curling so tight her fingernails cut into the skin of her hand, Sara widened her stance as she prepared to rip…” Is showing. This makes a huge difference in your prose because you give your reader a chance to really feel the character’s emotions, rather than just telling the story.
5. Varying Sentence Structure: You already know this, but there’s something more I’d like to talk about. In addition to writing short and long sentence, you also need to vary how you write them. If you begin ever sentence with She or I, you end up with a story that read like this: She did this, and then she did that, and then… It’s boring.
6. GMC: Goal, motivation and conflict, have already been discussed above, but you need to be aware of how important it is. Your character must have some kind of goal,, a reason for wanting to attain that goal and a reason why it is so difficult. But you don’t need to hit your reader over the head with it. Be subtle as you move your reader through the story. What happens is writers so heavily want to the reader to understand how tough it is for their character to meet the goal, they bash them over the head with it. You tire your reader when you do that. There should be peaks and valleys.
7. Criticism: One of my biggest pet peeves is people who can’t take criticism. I try to be as nice as possible when giving notes, but I’m always honest. I’m part of a critique group that can really be harsh at times, but they make you better. That’s what I’m trying to do when I take the time to help someone. Your heart is on the page, and it could be you may not be as objective as you think. It’s good to have an outsider’s point of view. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you should consider it.
As I said before, there are many mistakes we all make, but these are some I see most often. Please share some of your pet peeves or common mistakes. It’s good for us to learn from those around us.
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Hi Candy!
I see those a lot too when I critique. The other thing I see is characters referring to other characters as “the doctor” or “the nurse” or whatever over and over. I don’t go around thinking of my daughter as “the college student” or my hubby as “the IT guy.” I think of/call her my daughter or Amber depending on the situation and who I’m talking to. Characters who are close to other characters will more than likely, like us normal real-life people, think of each other by their names.
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I sometimes use words like Professor, to keep from using proper names so much. Or I come up with nicknames.
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Hi Candy,
I’m in the middle of revisions and these tips are uber helpful. Getting the natural flow is key. My first drafts are usually “Get The Idea Down,” and the polishing is where I pay attention to the “She” & “I” and what would a normal person in these shoes do.
So thanks for these great posts! I’m off to watch for fish-heads and icebergs…WW
Rashda
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It’s when a fish head slams into an ice berg that you really have to worry.
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Candy, I’ve been guilty of many of these writing mistakes. I might never have known it without my critique group. Like yours, they can be tough, but I’ve stuck with them for almost 2 years now because they make my writing better, that is, if I listen and respond to their comments. I’ve learned not to take they’re comments personally (it helps that comments that attack the writer are not allowed). I’d encourage every writer to join a critique group or, if they can’t find a local one, start their own. It’s the best thing I’ve done in the spirit of improving my writing.
–Jessica (ww)
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I’m lucky in that all of my critique partners are all published in fiction, and they keep me on the straight and narrow.
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Love it! Always great advice. I know that meeting you was one of the great turning points in my development as a fiction writer. I have been immensely blessed by you, so I will have to pass this on and share the blessings!
Kristen
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The Fishhead, I love it!. The term, not things it stands for. One of my biggest pet peeves is when it takes too long to get into a story, or when someone puts a 5 page prologue explaining things. (Which I sort of think of as a cheat, but thats just me. LOL )
These are all things writers at every stage of their career need to remember. Great post.
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Fantastic points. I know all of that…still make the same mistakes…it’s nice to be reminded.
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I love, love, love the iceberg analogy you used. Just the tip.
I’m working on backstory issues right now. THANKS!
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I now have a mental image of a giant fish head-butting an iceberg
I really struggled with showing vs. telling in the beginning. Hopefully after having finished novel #4, I’ve got it down. If I don’t, I expect you to tell me
I can take criticism just fine!
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pacing is usually a pitfall- being too fast and zippy is a problem too, some manuscripts mistake excitement for zippiness
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Thanks again to Candy for pointing out many of these very mistakes in my first chapter
Now I have a much clearer idea of what I need to do as I go through my manuscript and edit and revise.
Thanks!!!!
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Thanks for the great post Candy, I can’t wait to go back through what I was revising and pick out what you just talked about, I am sure I have many of these mistakes……………
Sharon (WW)
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Good list. Thanks for sharing
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I actually enjoyed this. It was incredibly educational and beneficial. I’ll return to examine on upcoming posts
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