GENREALITY

It’s theme week, and this week we’re talking about the Best , and worst, writing advice you’ve gotten.

Advice: “an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc.: I shall act on your advice.”

The best advice I’ve ever gotten about writing was from an article Julie Leto pointed me to on her website. This was back in 2003 and I’d already had half a dozen erotica short stories published, and I wanted to go more mainstream. In my mind, that meant romance, and the steamiest romance out there was Blaze. Not to mention the fact that Blaze was category length, and in my mind it would be easier to write than a full length novel because I was used to writing short stores. (BTW: shorter is not always easier…this is just the way my mind worked at the time…I really wasn’t very knowledgable about writing, or the industry.)

With all that in mind, I’d aimed a story at Blaze, pitched to an editor at a conference (Surrey International Writers Conference) and gotten a request for the partial. After i’d subbed it I got a rejection, and the reason given was my “voice and writing style”. This was before twitter and Facebook, and not many writers were blogging then either. I met most writer friends throughout he Harlequin Boards, and when I posted about my rejection, I mentioned the reason given for it and asked what that meant. (I mentioned I really knew nothing about writing and the industry, right?)

Julie Leto and Alison Kent were two of the authors who replied to my posts, and explained about voice, and style, and that it really wasn’t a bad rejection, just meant it wasn’t for them…and so on. One of the things Julie mentioned was a workshop she’d just done on voice, and how she’d posted it online, so I’d surfed over to her website and read it. That post, DITCHING “THE BOOK OF YOUR HEART” FOR “THE BOOK OF MY VOICE” was the best advice I’ve gotten about writing. Finding your voice, trusting your voice, playing to your natural strengths…those are the keys to finding success as a writer.

The other “best” piece of writing advice I’ve ever gotten is whenI was told that critiques are basically advice. The thoughts and points made in them are that persons opinion, so feel free to take it, or leave it.

The worst writing advice I’ve ever gotten…I’m having a hard time thinking of it. There’s a lot of advice out there, but none of it really stands out to me as the worst, mostly because I think that the same piece of advice can be good for one person, but bad for another. Most of the “bad advice” that comes to mind for me involves “rules” and plotting, both of which I suck at. Therefor I feel like any advice that tells me to plot or follow a rule is bad advice, but that’s not the same for everyone.

With all of the above in mind, I figure I’ll dish out some advice of my own. My advice for other writes, and I hope it will fall into the Best category, is to find what works for you, and don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong.

What advice would YOU give? Share your favorite tips in the comments and be entered to win a Sasha White coffee mug and

You have until next Monday night to comment/enter, and a random winner will be announced in my Tuesday Post.

In the past I’ve talked about how easy it to forget about health matters when you become a full-time writer,(weight, exercise, back pain, neck issues, eye strain) so I’m going to do it again today. Only today I’m not going to talk, today I’m going to share a video that someone pointed me to yesterday. Men, it is geared toward a female issue (breast cancer) but maybe if you watch this here, you’ll remember to get your prostate checked.

Just last week I had dinner with my family, and learned that my uncle has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. My uncle is relatively young, healthy, and loves life, and I thank God it’s just in the early stages.

I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in our own little worlds, be they the ones we write about, or the one of our industry. Please people, don’t get so wrapped up that you forget to take care of yourself.

PS: Stay to watch the credits. It’s worth it.

There’s been a lot of talk about BDSM in fiction lately so I thought I’d talk a bit about writing it. I think the most important thing for readers, and writers, of fiction with BDSM elements in it is to remember is there’s one undeniable truth about BDSM – there is no real standard. Each relationship is different, and there are all levels. Which means, when you reach for a BDSM book, you can get something that only contains a few ‘play’ elements, or something that is full on lifestyle, or S & M. Just because two books fall under the BDSM label does not make them even close to the same. Just like not all paranormal romances have Vampires, or Werewolves, some have psychics, some have witches or fey. The big difference here is that when If you buy a paranormal a romance you usually have abetter idea of what you’re getting buy reading the blurb. With BDSM, it can be a bit harder to discern that way because many of the differences within the genre can be subtle.

Example: My first novel BOUND has what I call BDSM elements. The heroine has fantasies about being dominated by the sexy security guard she works with, but it’s fantasy. However, as the two get closer, she finds herself really enjoying the whole submission thing. That story is written in the POV of a non-lifestyle character. WICKED is about Karl, who is a lifestyle Dominant. Some people would automatically think that means there’s plenty of whips and chains and bondage in this story, but thats not true. There is some, but Karl calls himself a “gentle Dom” and the story reflects that. He’s not a sadist- although he will deliver a blistering spanking if he thinks his girl deserves it- he just enjoys controlling, and caring, for his women. Two different levels of BDSM fiction.

For more insight into the various levels of some great BDSM fiction, look back to Eve Berlin’s Guest post here at Genreality (Not sure what happened to her cover images)

Cherise Sinclair writes some great BDSM fiction stores. The Masters OF Shadowlands stories are all set around and mostly take place with in a club atmosphere, and there’s some very well done kink scenes. Personally I’ve never thought any sort of ‘puppy play’ could ever be erotic, but she managed to do that in one of her stories (I think it was Make Me, Sir)

Joey Hill’s Nature of Desire series is unparalleled -in my opinion- when it comes to male submission. Give Natural law a try, and you’ll be hooked. Now, beyond the kink factors of these stories, (or the plots) the differences are also about what is more true-to-life. Joey Hill’s stories are fiction. but when you read then, there’s a realism, an honesty, to them that shows some true varieties of the lifestyle and BDSM. My own BDSM stories lean toward realistic as well, but the elements tend to be lighter than hers. Cherise Sinclair’s books are a bit more fantasy-ish. Her doom’s seem to be a bit too-good-to-be-true, and almost psychic in the way they read their subs. However, she is clear to state at the start of each book that the stories are romantic fantasies, and encourages people to remember that in real life, Safe, Sane and Consensual is a must, and that communication is key. These are just some examples of the variety that’s out there.

Personally, I enjoy BDSM fiction. I enjoy writing it, and I enjoy reading it. I love it because there are so many levels, and varieties, but also because really good BDSM fiction is not just about the sex, or the kink. It’s about the mind, and the emotional journey of the characters involved, and to me, thats what all good erotic fiction is about.

I put out a call on Facebook and twitter yesterday for suggestions from people about what topics they’d like to see me write on. I got quite a few responses, so I decided to just do a Q & A post.

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Robert asked “What and if there are, what are the rules when writing about sex?”
I’m not a big fan of “rules” when it comes to writing, so I’d like to say there aren’t any, however, that would be lying.
I guess the first rule is the one you see in almost every call for submissions. Basically don’t write it if it’s illegal. No bestiality, no incest, no rape, no under age sex. Things like that. Publishers, and readers tend to frown on them.

My own personal rule for writing sex is know your audience. If you’re target is a men’s magazine, don’t focus on romance or deep emotional aspects, focus on the physical aspects more-the pleasure, the fantasy aspect that would make it a one-handed read for the audience of that market. Ditto for erotic romance. Your main audience is made up of women, so when writing for that market you must develop the emotional aspects and keep the heat. Make sense?

Eden Bradley suggested. “Your take on self-publishing? 
I think self publishing can be a good thing, for some people. It all depends on the person. Not everyone likes to deal with covers, and finding editors, or formatting, and uploading…there’s a lot of work that goes into self-publishing something. It can be rewarding, but it’s not simple. The same can be said for sticking with just writing and submitting to a publisher (be it electronic or traditional). What is right for some is not right for others.
I enjoy self-publishing some of my stories, but I don’t want to do all of them that way. Sure the higher royalty is nice, but man, it is a lot of work, and it really does take time away from the actual job of writing.

All-in-all I think self-publishing is best thought of as a tool for writers building a career, and not a career in and of itself.

(For a post I did a short time ago on Real Number in self publishing, click here. )

Laura Lane had a couple suggestions for me. (thank you, Laura!)
1) How about the pitfalls of publishing & what u wish someone had told u b4 you started writing?

I wish someone had warned me to take care of myself better. That physical health does/can effect creativity. Maybe then I would’ve worked harder to stay in shape, and saved myself a lot of pain (mental and physical). I’ve tried to share bits of this before in posts like this one: Tips for being healthy & Productive.I also wished someone would’ve told me that everyone has doubts, and not to freak out when I have my own. One of my previous posts talking about this aspect of things is here: Doubt Demons.

2) How about why you write in the genre you do?

It’s gonna sound crass, but I started writing erotica because thats where I could make some money. I’ve been a fan of reading it for years, and when I took a writing course my mentor asked if I’d ever written it. I replied ‘No.’  I’d wanted to be a travel writer, and the thought of writing fiction, a novel, was in the back of my mind as a ‘someday’ sort of thing. He asked me to writ an erotic short story, so I gave it a shot. When he read it he told me that was where I was gonna make my money. He said I had a very ‘salacious imagination’, and it turns out he was right.

That said, i continue to write it because I enjoy it. The more I dug into writing it, the more I enjoyed it. Sex is such a basic need, one we all share, and human sexuality fascinates me.

Alex Van Tol asked How do you manage the constant flow of ideas? Do you force new ones away while you stick it out w/ the old? New ideas are so shiny…
Sadly, I’m not one of those authors who always has a ton of ideas for stories. I actually can get stuck pretty often. That said, there has been a time or three when I was working on something that another idea has popped into my head and done it’s damnedest to seduce me away for some fun times. When that happens I go. Yes, I willingly trail after the tantalizing sparkly new idea and indulge in the fun-for a time. I’ll give myself a day to get as much of the shiny new idea down (and it really is amazing what you can get done in a day when your focussed) and then I set it aside and get back to the work. Because the work needs to be done, and you can only play hooky for so long before the real world of deadlines comes around and kicks your ass.

I believe that there is magic in sparkly new ideas, and you should follow them and let the magic shine, but I don’t like getting my ass kicked. So… indulge, but only for a set time.

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I really enjoyed doing this and would love to do it again, so if you have any questions for me send them in. You can do tweet it to me, post it on my wall on Facebook, or simply email me.

It’s theme week here at Genreality and this week we’re talking about our reading habits. I highly doubt there are any fiction authors out there that aren’t big readers, so it seems like a pretty easy thing to talk about, right?

Carrie said in her post yesterday that she doesn’t read much Urban Fantasy, and I have to say I’m with her. Sort of. I read a lot of Urban Fantasy and paranormal, but that’s because it’s not what I write. I don’t really read much erotic fiction, and even when I’m reading an UF or Romance I tend to skim the sex scenes. It’s weird for me because before I started writing I used to love reading romance-any genre- and erotica and erotic romance.

It would be easy to say I don’t read it because I don’t want it to effect what I’m writing but that’s not really it. I honestly think I don’t read it much anymore because I just need a break from all that sex. Sure, sexuality fascinates me, and I love writing erotic fiction because I love digging into how and why sexual habits and cravings can effect emotions and actions in my characters (and life) but honestly, sometimes I just need a break.

For the longest time thrillers and suspense where my only go-to escape reads. I’m a huge Lee Child fan, and I loved the first 10 Stephanie Plum novels. I love Pamela Clare’s I-Team stories, and Kylie Brandt’s MindHunters. I’ve been reading Carrie’s Kitty Norville series it first came out (and wish she would write faster *g*) Same with Patricia Briggs Mercy Thompson novels. But just recently I also discovered Faith Hunters Jane Yellowrock novels.

I love them. Even more than the stories I love that I found them late, and got to read the first four novels, (and then the eBook specials) all in a row. Now I’m impatiently waiting for the next one.

The thing that all of my favourite have in common? Kick ass characters. Not just kick-ass, as in tough, but as in, well-rounded, well-devleoped characters who have strengths and weaknesses. Characters who have made mistakes (except maybe Reacher, who rarely makes mistakes) and then learned from them, and grew as the series goes on.

That’s not to say I never read erotic, I do read it. It’s only when you compare how much erotic with him much I read in general that I can said I don’t read much…if that makes sense?

When I get the urge for erotic stories I will sometimes try a new author, but I’ve got my faces I always run to first. Authors like Eden Bradley , Lilli Feisty, Joey Hill and Shiloh Walker. Shiloh also has great paranormal and suspense stories to, so she’s an all-around a fave.

Others fiction authors I read fairly regular are Jill Shalvis, Lynn Viehl, Lorelie James, Beth Williamson, Cathryn Fox, and Delilah Devlin.

When it comes to non-fiction I have short attention span, but I’ve been known to pick up books like 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, or things like Eat Mangoes Naked by Sark. I readily admit that Sark’s style of kicking your butt and motivating is way more effective with me than the 7 Habits. Thats not to say I don’t pick those up and think “I’ll give it a try,” though.

Why do i find Sark’s books more effective for me… because she says things like this…

“Why Dream?

The way to accomplish the assignment of truly living is to engage fully, richly, and deeply in the living of your dreams. We are made to dream and to live those dreams.”
― SARK, Make Your Creative Dreams Real: A Plan for Procrastinators, Perfectionists, Busy People, and People Who Would Really Rather Sleep All Day

Sounds like something that might motivate you?