Last week I talked about my preference for well rounded stories that don’t close the door on the sex scenes. It sparked some comments about sexual tension versus a full sex scene, and how sex scenes for the sake of pure titillation don’t help any story.
Just because I love reading, and writing, sex scenes doesn’t mean that I want every story to be flooded with them, and I don’t believe readers want that either. There is a balance to a well written sex scene, the same way there is a balance to a well written erotic story. However, sometimes I feel others can say things better than me, so I reached out to a friend and see if she’d answer a few questions and share her thoughts on sex scenes, what makes a story erotic, and how to write hot without letting the story be overshadowed by the sex.
Shiloh Walker is nothing if not prolific. She writes erotic contemporary, suspense, paranormal, fantasy, futuristic and even non-erotic romance. Many of her books blend these sub-genres together, but all of them have, at the core, a fantastic story. She does erotic and romantic tension very well, not to mention steamy sex scenes – and she agreed to share some of her opinions on such things with us. So, without further ado… a short and to the point Q&A with author Shiloh Walker.
Sasha: What do you think puts a book in the erotic category or sub-genre, as opposed to simply sensual?
Shiloh: It’s not just one thing… it’s the language, it’s how the love/sex scenes are depicted, it’s how the characters react. Are they just ‘lost in the throes of love’? Or is it more basic, more earthy than that? Although hey, both work…especially when they are woven together. At least for me.
The language is going to be more explicit, the sexual tension should be sky high, or at least in a well-written book, and there should be focus on both the physical AND the emotional aspects.
Sasha: What makes a scene erotic for you?
Shiloh: How it’s written, basically. I want to get lost in it. I want to know what they thinking, feeling, doing. If a scene is too mechanical, I lose interest and skim the rest of the scene. On the flipside though, if it’s too overdone–if there’s nothing but the sex and I get no sense of connection, the writer has lost me there, too. I love a well-written erotic love scene. But for me, it has to be a love scene-there has to be some connection beyond the sex for me or it just doesn’t work for me. Even if the hero/heroine aren’t in love, yet, I want to see the promise of something growing, even in the early scenes. The combination of the heat and that emotional connection is what really gets me.
Sasha: Share your best advice on how to write hot.
Shiloh: Well, for one…don’t do it with three kids playing in your office…*G*
Beyond that? I don’t know…what works for some won’t work for others. But I’d say a writer needs to write what feels right, for her/him. If you’re forcing it, if you’re trying to write a certain heat level because you hear that’s what is selling, or if you’re trying to imitate the style/language of another writer, then you’re not being true to your story. Find what works for you and then develop it. And read. Read a lot. Pay attention to the twists and turns of phrases that other writers use, see what mood it puts you in and then, using your own style, your own words, try to work that emotion, that tension, that mood into your own story.
Thank You, Shiloh, for sharing your thoughts and advice with us.
In the comments to last weeks post, Rebecca brought up an issue that I’ve heard several writers mention before. Because of the erotic genre gaining such popularity in the past couple of years, many writers are feeling pressure to come up with new and exciting ways to write sex scenes. Rebecca’s writing a book that will most likely only have two love scenes in it, and she’s still feeling stuck on the first one. She says…“I am a romance writer who is frozen on the first (of probably two) sex scenes in my book. The line I’m writing for practically requires one, and I’m not afraid to write it. I’ve tried. And tried. But every time I slog through another version, it doesn’t seem any more imaginative or compelling to me than any other sex scene I’ve read in a ton of mediocre books. I don’t want them swinging from the proverbial chandelier, but every description and every internal feeling I come up with has been done a thousand times. I know there’s nothing new under the sun, but all I can think is: my God, am I really that boring? Maybe I don’t have the knack for writing a decent, memorable sex scene. But I sure as hell wish I did.”
I often hang out at Romance Diva’s, a forum full of writers of all levels and all genres, and I can’t how many times I’ve heard of this happening. Hell, its even happened to me. Because of this, I can’t stress enough that there comes a time when we have to stop re-writing things. Going over the same scene again and again can sometimes do more harm than good. You can edit the magic of the scene, that unnamable something that creates the connection between your characters, right out of the scene if you stress about it too much. My advice to Rebecca, and anyone who finds themself in her position is not to think about other scenes you’ve read, or heard about. Think about the person reading your story. They care about the characters. They don’t want to be pulled out of the story by some exotic sex act. Like Shiloh, they want to feel the emotion behind the act.
Copied and pasted from my answer in later weeks comments..
It’s the emotion behind any sex scene that makes it erotic. It’s the emotional growth (or lack of) that moves the story forward and makes the sex scene essential to the story. It’s the emotions that the reader will connect to.
I think one of the most important things to remember when writing a sex scene is to stay true to the characters and the story. If it’s a sweet sensual love story, don’t add something kinky just because you think it’s what the publisher might want. Readers want a good story. Readers read romance and erotic fiction of all heat levels. You said you’ve read mediocre books, think about what made them mediocre. Perhaps it was because it was like Shiloh mentioned above, a book that was full of sex but no story, or no tension/buildup. Maybe it was sex scenes that didn’t feel true to the characters, or perhaps it was that you didn’t care about the characters, therefor you didn’t care about the sex. Either way, I think you need to trust your self when it comes to writing the scene that is right for your story, and stop focussing on what’s out there.
As much as I love sex scenes, reading and writing them, I firmly believe that they can not be simply thrown into the story to add pages, word count, or to make a story fit the market. Sure sex sells, but books that are all sex and no story aren’t good for the genre, the market, or the author. Sex scenes should enhance a story, not bog it down or overshadow it.
If you want to know more about what *I* think about writing sex scenes and what is erotic then check out my February post What’s Hot? .
If you have any questions, or advice, about how to balance sex and story, or writing hot, please post them in the comments.
